School has taken over my life.... and I don't like it one bit.
All I do is study. Worry about studying. Think about studying. Anything to do with studying, I probably do it. Although I DO make time to spend time with my family, friends, and my sweet baby, Diesel :)
Nursing school is great, but awful at the same time. I wonder if this really is what I'm meant to do for the rest of my life. I've always wanted to have a career in the medical field, since I was 5 years old watching a 7 or 8 year old having surgery on his eye with my dad. But what if it's something else I'm supposed to do?
I wonder this all the time. I HATE school. I hate listening to lecture after lecture learning about stuff - that I've been told my nurses - I'll never see once I have a job as a nurse. I have huge anxiety when it comes to tests. I'm just not good at it.
But so many people have such high expectations for me. I can't just quit & start all over and figure out what I want to do. I worked so hard to get into nursing school. I just want to stop learning about everything from a book and get out there and DO SOMETHING.
I want to take a child's temperature.
I want to give a child their first shots.
I want to see the look in a mother and father's eyes when they see their child for the first time.
I want to wake up everyday knowing I'm going to have a good day, because I love my job and the doctors I work for.
I know I can't do all that until I go through all of this hard work. But I just KNOW it will be worth it one day. I have to STOP thinking I'm going to fail at this. I have to stop thinking I should just quit. I just need to take one day at a time.
Please pray for me & if you already are, continue. I need them now more than ever. Pray that I will stay focused. Pray that I will succeed in this. Pray that God will keep his hands over me as I continue on this long, hard journey called nursing school.
XOXO,
